Chapter 10 {Potty Training}

Every parent out there has, at some point in his or her life dreaded the idea of potty training, right? Come on!

And if you haven’t yet, you will when your time comes, and it will come. Be prepared. Be very prepared.

I mean imagine this little person who’s been wearing diapers literally since he/she was born and now you want them to stop wearing nappies and do it sitting bare-ass on a toilet – when a simple conversation about what to have for dinner can so easily cause a nervous meltdown or a silly question such as “how was your day at nursery” never seems to get any response due to very short memory spans, or better yet, when you have to convince this same little person that they can’t put their foot inside their fruit bowl, with fruits in there.

So yeah, imagine what goes on in the head of a parent!

This child is going to pee and poo in her panties, inside her leggings … it’s gonna be everywhere, on her toys, on the carpet, on the floor, on the dog, and maybe on her hand? And I’m gonna have to clean it, feel it, smell it, remember it and most probably dream about it. I have to watch her the whole day, I probably can’t use the bathroom myself because that’s exactly when she’s gonna want to go, right? Already the idea of wiping the potty clean is awful, let alone clean poo off some panties, oh Help Me God!

You might be wondering “why all this reaction it’s not like she’s never changed a diaper” I have and I had to examine a few poos too when M supposedly swallowed a rubber wheel… you should have seen my face the day I found that wheel.

You read so many books and articles, and you hear so many opinions – mostly to which you want to release this inner monster and let it scream “you can shove your opinion up your ass” but I learned since I became a mother, to listen and store all the information I’m offered, because it’s free and if I ever need it I refer to it, basically I learnt to be polite and nod along – that you are never prepared until you have to go through it.

And I wasn’t prepared until this past weekend.

Like any other parent out there, I was in search of the quickest most efficient way to potty train, I even googled “how to potty train in one day” – I was this desperate – and I thought: “This is it! This is for me”, it wasn’t!

So many friends have said, wait when it’s summer, it’s so much better, you can leave her with just her panties on and she’ll hate the feeling of pee coming down her legs. So when we spent 5 weeks in Alderney this past summer, M was 2 and a half and I thought I won’t be alone, and it’s not my house that will have stains everywhere (sorry mom in law but I love you), so I packed some panties ready for when the time was right. And I thought this is a nice age to potty train, and I can show off that my 2 yo doesn’t wear diapers anymore. Ok, I got carried away there. I lasted 8 hours on a beautiful sunny day, I was supposed to be tanning my legs at the beach, but instead I spent the day wiping a potty from numerous pees and ran out of clothes, luckily it was summer. I gave up.

A friend of mine will soon potty train her second daughter, and given her previous experience, she said “I’m gonna let her do it herself” and I thought to myself: how interesting, maybe I should do that too. I didn’t.

M has just turned 3, 2 weeks ago, and just this past weekend, we survived potty training. I heard from a few other moms that I may have left it too long, no I didn’t, and it’s none of your business.

We did it! And it was so good! We had only 1 pee accident, nothing else.

We had to revert to treats of course, because she has no negotiation skills whatsoever. She had candies, lollipops, chocolate, you name it! Judge me all you want, I don’t care because she did it!

Now I must admit, M has been ready for a while now. She had one day in Alderney to grasp the concept of it. She goes to nursery and sees other kids do it. She sees me go to the toilet. She’s had a dry nappy every morning for at least 3 weeks before we did it. She turned 3 and she thinks she’s a big girl now and big girls don’t wear nappies. She can pull her pants up and down. She can wash her own hands.

She had the package!

And I finally had the courage.

And by courage, I mean, I was at the right time in my cycle, where the inner monster is at peace, and let’s just leave it at that.

She even went to nursery this week and had absolutely no accidents. And we are so proud of her! And of her mummy.

So what have we learnt here parents:

  • Do it when YOU are ready, not just when they are.
  • Be patient and allow for 3 days at home with no outdoor plans.
  • Read ALL the signs that tell you they are ready, never push them because it might work but it will take time and you will have many accidents after.
  • Don’t bombard them with the same question all day long when you’re training: “do you need to go? Do you need to go?” Give them some space and ask them once an hour instead of once a minute.
  • Whatever you do, it’s your business, and no one else’s.
  • And the season is irrelevant.

Please let me know what you think, how was your experience, how long did it take?



4 Comments Add yours

  1. Marie Noel says:

    That s so helpful !
    This topic is my latest obsession! Tried once before Christmas and didn’t go well so I am waiting for both of us to be ready… i am even thinking taking few days off to focus on it ( haha!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha you know when you’re both ready! It’s like finding your wedding dress! Ahhahahha when you know you know!


  2. Sylvia Malikian says:

    I was lucky, Sarah was about 2 and 1/2, We were stationed in Tunis, so ceramics floors, plus she had a nanny. Her nanny trained her…..I didn’t go through any hardship or stress…..I don’t know how she did it…..I was so lucky then…..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah… the perks of having a nanny.. I remember 😫😄


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